you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
