And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize