So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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