i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
