let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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