Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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