didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize