If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
