i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
