i think my mom watched the whole time
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
