so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
