fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
