Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
