I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
