Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
