i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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