Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
