Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My vagina is very pro this idea
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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