We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
