You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
