U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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