Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize