hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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