Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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