Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
