this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
