I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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