So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
