it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
True strength comes from lack of pants
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