i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
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Enough of this "first" BS already!
Damn, this is an IMPRESSIVELY subtle way of letting people know you don't fuck around when it comes to partying.
The real fun would be to turn it on!
And then I realized my kidneys were missing.
Too good to be true!
Ah then the assassins must have failed
Epicalymental is a F@G