You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Randomize
