I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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