i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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