You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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