drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
false alarm, still single
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
