just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
North Korea, Best Korea!
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
your room smells of hookers.
Loading more great texts...