good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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