OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
