she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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