...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize