In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
