I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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