why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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