My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
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I have a feeling your death will be ruled as "accidental" when your wife finds out
Girlfriends abortion should be "gambling losses". Vasectomy is an "investment".
You DO realize that you now have a paper trail connecting you to the girlfriend and possibly an abortion clinic? I'll keep my fingers crossed your wife is smart enough to hire a PI to bust your tasteless ass.
Good thing you got rid of it so we didn't have another fucker like you in this world. You are a true shit bag. ;)
$10 says she accidentally reads this text on your phone, so you're still fucked
You're the reason women hate men
And yet you still let us inside you despite your hate for us. What's that say for your self-respect? Or your integrity for that matter?
*face palm* your description of sex leads me to believe you've never had any.
So unless you're a rug-munchin' extrodinaire, you don't have a leg to stand on.
Wow what a fucking prick!
Cash loser! No paper trail is the whole idea. You'd be a shitty spy.
So we're all aware of two more assholes in the world now. Great.
Low class, OP. Karma is a bitch, and now she has your number!
You are one skanky mother fucker.
You didn't use protection in a non-monogamous relationship? You paid for an abortion with something other than cash for a pregnancy that might not have been yours? I think you meant to say your future ex-wife's future financial advisor. I have to think this is fake, nobody is that stupid.
I'm just praying that your wife finds out and cuts your junk off! #justsaying
i see someone has morals.
Dude, that's fucked up
Ya'll should be ashamed of yourselves for both parts of that ordeal!
We all know you're going to hell.
You are the epitome of douchebagness.
You people act like women don't do stupid shit like this too. They're far more scandalous than guys.
Scumbag wrap your shit up!!!!!
@777 epic. Well said.
I hope your wife files your funeral costs under investments.
You are the epitome of douchebagness
Epic failure, you sack of shit.
Thats some advisor you got there. Covering your stupid ass :)
Regardless of infidelity, those should always be considered investments
@porksword, people will surprise you with their levels of stupidity. -_-
Your financial advisor is brilliant. You, however, are a terrible person.
I agree with porks. No way this is real.
Can we get this financial advisors name so we know never ever to use him? apparently has a side business protecting scumbags who don't deserve it from their wives who don't deserve to be treated like shit.
@ porksword yes, sadly they can be... I teach college freshmen.
That's how we do in Texas...
This reminds me of the time a guy came out to skydive and brought his girlfriend. Two weeks later, he comes back for his second jump, and brought his wife. He called in advance to ask us not to act like we knew him. He's managed to keep the wife oblivious for two years. No word on if his mistress knows. No one has asked. Nice guy otherwise.
What a good advisor! And that is a true investment
That is fucking rad, high five
Sweet! That such an outcome is possible makes me happy to be alive. Rock on, bad boy!