her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
