Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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