i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
