The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Pants are for mortals
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
