Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
