did you get engaged???
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
