Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
