I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
