Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
