If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
