I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize