It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize