Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
