physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
