Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
