It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
