Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
